I love asking people how they are as I generally do care, and I am fascinated by the answers I receive.

Some of my least favourite to hear:

Hectic.

Busy.

It does not help to complain.

I recently ran a session where we spent time exploring the difference between ourselves and our activity.  We came to the conclusion that we are not defined by our activity.

It becomes possible to make this distinction when we realise that we have a choice to do two things that prove the separation. One, when we are working through various considerations before starting out and two, when we perform a review after activity to establish whether our list of considerations is adequate for the next bout of activity.

Me – my list of considerations – my decision to start – my activity – my review – and amending my list of considerations for the next time – me.

This distinction is crucial for our overall well-being.

We do not have to become victims of our activity.

We can do something about how busy we are, how effective we are and how efficient we are.  We simply have to see that our running around, our frantic schedules are not who we are, it is what we are doing.

How are you? – busy – really is that it?

Not only is it important to stand apart from activity, it is also crucial that we are mindful of our affirmations.  “Busy” affirms busy.  “Hectic” affirms hectic and “it does not help to complain” affirms victim mode.

We can and should be in charge of what we do.

So here I am on a flight, sitting in a chair, typing and drinking water.  I am still Louis while doing these things.  I decided to type, I ordered the water and I organized the sessions I’m flying up for.  By reminding myself of my choices, I remind myself that I can be and should be in charge of what I do and not the other way around.  I see many people who are not in control.  Their activity is consuming them.  They are lost in their frantic goings on.  A friend recently described herself to us as defeated.  Defeated by others, defeated by a complicated process, defeated by the lack of progress.  Defeated affirms defeated.  Finding you in all your activity is where the turn-around starts.

Here I am.  Now let me look at what is going on. At what is keeping me so occupied.  At what is keeping me so out of touch with myself.

My list of considerations will include questions like “is this still important for me?”, “is this making me happy?”, “are the people I have supporting me doing the job of supporting me?” and “is there light at the end of this current tunnel?”

By Louis Gerke

Development Facilitator – The Ripple Effect

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